The Day The Friends Got LOST
by Amethystiana
Summary: Phoebe: Isn't wasn't supossed to be like this. we shouldn't have been on the FREAKING PLANE!


"Okay, are we all set?" Monica asked everyone.

Before anyone could reply, she grinned and exclaimed. "Of course we are! I packed for everyone! Let's go, people!"

Chandler groaned. This was going to be a long trip.

- - -

Chandler's eyes shot open. Where was he?

Suddenly he sat up, immidiately regretting it. "What in the..."

All around him was beach, and then he heard someone scream.

It was himself.

- - -

Phoebe looked around. "Oh, no." She rolled her eyes. "Mike!"

He ran over to her. "What is it?"

Phoebe sighed. "The plane has crashed." She said it like she was heading to the local pizza place and they were closed, and she'd have to drive five more minutes to get to the next pizza place.

"What?" Mike exclaimed. "The... the plane... what?"

"It crashed." Phoebe said, rolling her eyes, annoyed. "This is going to take up a lot of free time."

- - -

Ross sat up. He banged his head on a piece of something... wait.

That's not right. How could he bang his head on a piece of some...

Hold on.

He looked around, and then he heard someone scream.

It sounded like Chandler!

"Oh, this is too much..." Ross laughed secretly. "Chandler is such a wimp..."

- - -

Chandler raced around, panicking. "Oh my God, oh my God, what's going on!"

He ran around, looking for help. He ran into a man who was running around himself.

"Excuse me, but... would you mind telling me just exactly what the HECK IS GOING ON HERE?" Chandler screamed like pretty little girl.

The man looked at him, shocked at the outburst. "I really don't know." He tried to smile, but failed. "I'm Jack."

"I'm Chandler."

Jack looked at him. "Really?" Weird name. Especially for a guy. "Interesting name."

"You should hear my middle name, except I won't let you!"

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Okay..."

"I make jokes when I'm nervous."

Jack sighed. "We're going to need a lot of those jokes."

"Oh, no, no you're not!" Chandler... whatevered. "Hmamahanama. No!" He calmed down. "See, I'm really not very good, but this is all I have!"

Jack sighed. "Okay. Well, then... any advice?"

"Oh, no, no you don't, no! My wife would kill me with her bare hands if she found out I gave advice!"

"Come on..."

"No, no I won't! I'm really scared of her! She is a mean, mean, lady." He smiled. "I love her." He looked at Jack. "But she is very mean!" He lowered his voice. "Do you plan on leading everyone?"

"I don't really know. I guess..."

"Hmno! No you don't! Hmmno! If she can't be thie boss, she will kill you,"

Jack laughed. "Come on, you don't expect me to believe that, do you?"

"Oh, no, my friend, but it is quite true."

Ross ran around. "Oh, my GOD! What is going on here!"

Chandler and Jack ran up to him.

Chandler... Chandlered. "We seem to have crashed."

Ross rolled his eyes. "We couldn't have crashed, I mean-" He looked around. "Oh my GOD! WE're going to die!" Lower, he said, "I wonder if there are any Dinosaur bones here..."

Suddenly Monica ran over to them. "Oh my God. People, stick together people! We WILL get through this! You just have to obey me!"

Chandler smirked. "Hate to say it but... I told you so."

Jack sighed.

"Hmaha! Told ya!"

- - -

LOST

- - -

Rachel looked around, and went into a daze...

Flashback

"Excuse me, can I get you anything?" The flight attendant asked.

Rachel shook her head. "No, no, I'm fine."

The flight attendant nodded, and was about to leave when Rachel stopped her. "Actually, a water, please."

"Of course."

Rachel slapped Ross. "Ross! Ross, wake up!"

"Humh! Oh, God, Rach, please don't hit me again. That really hurt."

"You just missed the flight attendant."

"What? Did she... sing a song or something?"

"Ross!" He scoffed. "No! She just... nevermind."

Joey leaned over from the seats in front of them, and turned around, facing them. "Was she hot?"

"Joey!" Rachel groaned.

Joey looked offended. "I'm sorry, I was just trying to make conversation!" He turned back around.

Rachel stood. "I'll be right back."

"Wha-where are you going?" Ross asked her.

"Ross..."

"Rach..."

"Ross!"

"Rach!"

"Fine." She sighed. "I have to pee Ross."

"Oh. Sorry." He laughed, embaressedly. "Don't fall in."

"Please shut up." Rachel rolled her eyes. She turned and was leaving just as a young pregnant woman passed by.

"Excuse me," She said.

"Of course," Rachel smiled. "Sucks, doesn't it?"

"What?"

"Going to the bathroom all the time. I know when I was pregnant it really sucked. The bathroom part. The rest was all worth it."

"Oh." The girl looked ashen. "Okay. I'm sorry... Excuse me."

Rachel was startled. "Okay..."

"Rachel... Rachel..."

End Flashback

"Rachel!" Phoebe said. "Emma! I found Emma!"

"Oh, God!" Rachel cried. "Emma!"

Mike shrugged. "It wasn't hard. She's fine. She was... where was she?"

"In a bunch of towels." Phoebe smiled. "She peed all in them, though."

"I can see... op! And feel!" Rachel said, reaching for the diaper bag Mike was holding.

Phoebe shook her head.

- - -

Monica had the twins. "This sucks! I can't boss people around while I'm holding two hungry babies! How much more can they eat!" Monica yipped, exasperated.

Chandler sighed. "I'll take them."

"Oh, no you won't!" Monica yelled. "They're mine."

"Oh, sorry, I though that they were also mine. When we adopted them, we both did. Their last name is Bing. But I can see where I would have gotten mixed up."

"It is?" Jack asked. Whoa, this guy had some weird names.

"At least my middle name isn't Muriel." Monica smirked.

Chandler jumped. "Hmaha, no. NO. You don't tell them that."

Jack tried not to laugh. Chandler Muriel Bing? What, were his parents in the circus or something?

"Close to it," Chandler said.

"Close to what?" Jack asked.

"The Circus."

"Which he is afraid of," Monica said, unhelpfully.

"He is?" Jack said.

"No, NO!" Chandler said.

Jack was blown away. "But I didn't say the Circus outloud."

"Weird." Joey said. "Beka, I'm scared!"

"Who's Beka? And you weren't here before Joe!"

"I don't know and I know!" Joey shot back, melodramatically.

"About the babies..." Chandler said, at a desperate need for a change of subject.

"Chandler... okay, fine! Take 'em!"

"Gee, thanks ever so much, sweetie,"

Monica gave him a look, then she turned to Jack. "What do you expect to do about this situation?"

"Well," Jack began, "I suppose that everyone-"

"HOLD ON, there, mister!" Monica hollered. "There has to be a boss!"

"I guess-"

"You guess! You guess! Well, that isn't good enough, you shrimp!"

"I figure we could-"

"That won't work!"

"How about, then,"

"Nope!"

"What about-"

"No way, shrimp."

"But-"

"Shrimp, she said no! For the love of God!" Chandler cried.

Emma cooed. "Swimp!"

Phoebe said, "If she starts talking about mysterious voices and things that go bump in the night and men who were paralized that now walk..."

"What?" Mike asked.

"I don't know." Phoebe said.

"She was just makin' conversation!" Joey yelled.

"Whoa! People! SHUT UP!" Monica yelled.

"How long do you think this can continue?" Charlie asked.

Claire sighed. "It's been going on for three seasons, Charlie, who knows."

"Want me to check on Aaron?"

"I'm holding him."

"I know that," Charlie blushed. "I mean-"

"Dinosaurs!" Ross yelled. "This is so way cool!"

"Geek." Locke said.

"Hmaha!" Chandler stuck his tongue out at Monica.

"Die! Die! Die!" Rachel said to little bugs.

Emma and Jack (Monica and Chandler's son, not Jack from LOST) were throwing rcoks at poor bystanders named Joey and Sawyer, and Erica was hitting Jack (Jack from LOST, not Monica and Chandler's son) with a stick.

Aaron looked at Claire. "Mom, would you put me down? I'm almost five."

Charlie laughed.

Claire sighed. "Okay..."

Aaron sighed. "And you can put down my sister, too, Mom."

Claire pouted. "No."

"Mom..."

"No!"

"MOM..."

"NO! NONONONO! I don't wanna..."

And thus was the end of this story of the crazy people on LOST Island.

For now.

"Dinosaurs!"


End file.
